There's A Monster In Front of Me
by Not-Completely-Insane
Summary: "There's a monster in front of me" are words that have plauged Loki his whole life since the monster started to follow him. The monster never stays for long but he never fails to return to Loki. "Just kill him" is the answer to his questions. What else can you do to a monster?


I saw a picture on the interwebs and so I decided to try to type this. Hope it came out good enough because I really have no idea how I wanted this to go.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Thor or The Avengers. I also don't own the cover art

Warnings: This is AU just to the point I don't follow the movie. I did take my favorite scene from "Thor" and twist it around a bit…or a lot…you'll see. Possible character death

* * *

Seven year old Loki took a deep breath as he stared up at the creature in front of him. Two eyes, a nose, a mouth. The hair on its head midnight black, its skin blue; a monster.

It smiled at him and Loki felt the fear travel up his spine. He didn't want to be here. Where was Thor? Why wasn't he here?

"What's the matter little _Asgardian_?" The monster mocked and Loki felt his knees tremble.

"There's a monster in front of me." Loki found himself whispering although he had no idea how he was able to speak them with the fear he felt.

"Just kill him." The monster replied quietly, a smile plastered on its lips.

Loki bit his lip as he tried to think of something, anything, that could possibly save him but nothing came to mind.

"I can't." Loki's voice cracked as he spoke and the monster in front of him laughed.

"You're too weak." The creature chuckled and Loki felt shame flood his chest. He looked away from the beast to stare at his feet in humiliation as the monster laughed.

"You're pathetic. You'll never be good enough. You're different." The beast went on and Loki jumped as he suddenly felt the creature's hands on his shoulders and his breath ghosted over his cheek; the monster was behind him.

"What—"

"Look." The beast said and forced Loki to look straight ahead. "Have you not realized—"

_"Brother!"_

**xxx**

"Brother!"

Loki jolted awake as he heard Thor's voice tear through his dream. Said other was currently above him staring at him with concerned wide eyes.

"Brother, are you all right?" Thor asked.

Loki swallowed around the lump in his throat and nodded. "I'm fine. Just a bad dream."

"Would you like me to sleep with you?" Thor suggested but waited for no answer as he settled down beside Loki beneath the blanket. He slung an arm over the younger's shoulders and pulled him close. "Goodnight brother."

"Goodnight Thor."

As Thor drifted off to sleep, Loki lay awake. As much as he tried he couldn't get back to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, a monster looked back at him.

**xxxxxxxx**

Loki felt his breathing pick up as he stared at the monster in front of him. Although he was now fourteen, he wasn't much of a fighter. He could use magic but he wasn't very good yet and his aim with his throwing knives left much to be desired.

"Hello again little Asgardian." The monster said as he smirked at the shorter boy. "It's been so long since we last met."

"I've caught glimpses of you throughout the palace." Loki replied calmly although in reality he was panicking.

The blue beast chuckled softly. "I suppose you have. You are my favorite little Asgardian after all."

Loki took a deep breath to calm himself. "What do you want?"

The beast laughed and stepped towards Loki who took a step away but scowled when his back hit the wall. The monster stood in front of him and leaned down to be eyelevel with him. He studied the smaller being carefully with his eyes before letting his fingers brush over his cheek. Loki shuddered as cold erupted from the fingertips but he found himself not jerking away.

"Do you remember what you told me a few years back?" the beast asked, a smirk slipping over his lips and Loki nodded.

"There's a monster in front of me." Loki murmured and the beast grinned.

"Just kill him." The monster whispered back.

Loki was about to throw one of his knives from the pouch at his side when the monster changed. Loki gasped as the once blue skin turned pale and the beast smiled. Loki stumbled back and the beast could only laugh.

"Well?" the monster asked and raised his arms in mock defenselessness.

"I can't." Loki whispered.

The creature laughed and raised his arm, ready to strike, and Loki covered his head.

"Brother?" Thor's voice drifted into the room and when Loki looked up the beast was gone. "Brother, are you in here?"

Loki quickly stood and went to the door. "I'm here."

Thor grinned when he saw the other. "I've been looking for you everywhere! Should have known you'd be in your room. Come! Let us train!"

Loki had never been so relieved to go train with Thor. As they walked out Loki avoided looking in the dark corners in fear of seeing the monster following them.

**xxxxxxx**

"Be quiet!" Loki yelled as he covered his ears with his hands.

"But my little Asgardian, it's been over two years since I last spoke to you." The monster replied.

Loki turned to glare at the creature. "It would have been better if you would have kept it that way! Why do you keep coming back to me?"

"Why wouldn't I come back to you? You haven't killed me yet."

"Maybe I do not wish to kill you."

At this the monster snorted. "You don't wish to kill me? And why is that?"

"I…" Loki frowned as nothing came to his mind. Why wouldn't he want to kill a monster?

"Could it be because I'm—"

"Shut up! Just stop talking! I need to think!"

"Loki, are you all right? Who are you talking to?" Frigga's voice floated to him from through the door. When he didn't answer right away she opened it. "Loki?"

Loki quickly turned his gaze to the bed and, finding no one there, looked to his mother.

"Loki, are you all right?" Frigga asked, concern lacing her words.

_There's a monster in front of me…_"I'm fine mother. I just fell asleep and must have had a nightmare. I don't even remember it."

Frigga walked to her son and kissed his forehead before smiling and walking out of the room. Loki watched her go and once she had shut the door he turned to his bed. All that looked back at him was the reflection from the mirror on the opposite wall.

**xxxxxx**

"Thor?" Loki asked as he opened the door to his brother's room.

Thor looked up and smiled at the other. He placed his sword that he had been sharpening beside him on his bed and motioned for Loki to come in. "Come in brother! You know you do not have to ask."

Loki stepped into the room and closed the door quietly. He went to the blonde and sat beside him. Thor noticed the hesitant look on Loki's face and frowned.

"Tell me, what troubles you brother?" Thor asked.

Loki turned his gaze to Thor and swallowed around the lump in his throat.

"I think something's wrong with me." Loki said and turned his attention back to the floor.

Thor frowned and clamped a strong hand on Loki's thin shoulder. "What makes you say that?"

"There's a monster in front of me," Loki started and glanced up, not surprised in the slightest when he saw the blue beast standing across from him and Thor, "but I do not know what to do."

Thor gave Loki a questioning look before glancing in the direction Loki was staring. Seeing nothing, he turned back to his brother.

"Just kill him." Thor replied.

Loki bit his lip as the monster began laughing at Thor's answer. Loki didn't like it. No one should laugh at Thor.

"Leave it to the oaf to rely on brute strength. Obviously killing is the easiest way to fix things." The beast said and Loki couldn't help but to scowl.

"Silence. You have told me the same thing repeatedly." Loki replied to the monster.

Thor frowned and let his hand drop from Loki's shoulder. "Brother, I am only trying to help. I do not know what exactly you expect me to say."

Loki shook his head. "I apologize. I wasn't talking to you, I was…" Loki sighed and stood from his seat. "Sorry, just forget it. Thank you Thor."

Thor gave Loki an apologetic grin. "Sorry I could not be of more help brother."

With that Loki walked to the door and left the room. He sighed after he shut the door and glared at the creature that had followed him out of the chamber.

"I hate you." Loki said as he glared at the other following him through the halls.

The monster laughed as he walked beside Loki. "I know you do."

**xxxxx**

Loki fisted his hands at his sides as he glared at the older man in front of him. He felt like crying but he would not. He refused to let any tears fall; refused to give the other the satisfaction.

"You didn't want to tell me? Tell me what? That I-I-I'm the monster who parents tell their children about at night?!" Loki yelled and he cursed himself for letting his voice stutter.

"Don't be too hard on him, he was only trying to protect you." The blue beast said from somewhere behind him but he ignored him.

"Tell me!" Loki screamed. His last bit of confidence faded as Odin looked away from him.

"Why, I don't think he can stand to look at you anymore." The monster laughed and Loki's heart broke. He felt lost and broken and he knew Odin would say nothing to make him feel any better.

"Go back to your room, Loki." Odin ordered quietly as he turned to leave.

"No! I'm not going anywhere and neither are you!" Loki screamed and took a step towards Odin but that was as far as he got before he was on the floor with the breath knocked out of him. He gasped and coughed before looking up at his father—no, Odin—who was glaring down at him.

"Do not think you can tell me what I can and can't do." Odin said and Loki felt dread well in his stomach.

"Ooh, he's got you now." The monster said as he walked around the two on the stairs. "What will you do?"

"Just tell me why…" Loki whispered and Odin sighed as he got off of Loki and stood up.

Loki watched the other stand and sat up himself shortly after. He didn't let his eyes leave the older man, even as Odin started to walk away.

"Please, tell me. Why did you take me?" Loki questioned, the desperation for an answer obvious although he tried to hide it.

"I was hoping I could use you to unite our kingdoms, but I see that was a failed plan." Odin replied, barely loud enough for Loki to hear, before he left the chamber.

"So I'm not even of any use anymore?" Loki asked to no one. Of course the question couldn't go unanswered.

"Of course you're not of any use." The blue monster replied with a smirk as he walked past Loki. "Who's the monster now?"

"Shut up." Loki said as he began to walk up the stairs. He stopped when the beast stepped in front of him. "Get out of the way."

The creature chuckled as he leaned down to look the slightly shorter man in the eye.

"There's a monster in front of me," he said with a mock tone. "What should I do?"

"Just kill him." Loki answered as he pushed passed the other beast.

**xxxxxx**

This was wrong. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He was supposed to destroy Jotunheim along with every Frost Giant and prove himself to Odin, prove that he could be useful, but everything had gone wrong. Thor had to get in his way. If it wasn't for him…

"Brother! Just hold on!" Thor called to him and Loki's eyes shifter from Odin to Thor.

Odin held Thor while Thor held the staff that Loki was clinging to as well. If not for Odin, then he and Thor—no, just Thor, only Thor—would have died.

"I'm not your brother." Loki whispered. His eyes burned and tears threatened to fall but he would not allow them to escape.

"I could have done it, father!" Loki yelled to the older man holding onto Thor. "I could have done it! For you, for all of us!" Loki's voice fell to a small volume barely above a whisper. "I could have been useful."

Odin focused a steely gaze on Loki before he shook his head. "No Loki."

Loki flinched as Odin spoke before he looked away. Of course. How could he have possibly thought Odin would ever love him? Thor's eyes widened as he listened to the short conversation and he looked frantically to Loki.

"Brother, don't you dare!" Thor called but his words fell on deaf ears.

_"There's a monster in front of me but I do not know what to do."_

_"Just kill him."_

Loki let go of the staff and allowed himself to fall. He didn't know where he would end up or even if he would end up there alive but he didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore.

"Brother!" Thor yelled desperately although nothing he said would bring Loki back.

The monster stood beside Odin and he smiled and waved to the youngest. "Goodbye my little monster. I guess we killed him after all."

**xxxxxx**

Loki chuckled as he walked casually around his glass prison the 'Avengers' had put him in. Really this wasn't going to hold him for long, but he could let them believe. He sat on the floor and got as comfortable as he could to wait for his plan to unfurl.

"Is this truly your plan? To sit here while all the fun happens outside this prison?"

"Will you shut up? I feel like I've been telling you that my whole life." Loki said and the beast laughed.

"You have, my little Asgardian. Oh, I apologize. I mean my little _monster_." the monster chuckled. "I forgot you are a Frost Giant."

Loki scowled but rolled his eyes as a way to shake it off. "I know what I am, no need to remind me."

The monster laughed and sat across from Loki. "I have my little Jotun runt, and you have your own Jotun. I think we did pretty well."

"There's a monster in front of me." Loki said after a moment of silence. He didn't know what possessed him to say it but he did enjoy the look of mild surprise on the other's face. "I don't know what to do."

"Just kill him." The monster replied with a smirk and Loki couldn't help but to let a small smile settle on his lips.

Silence overtook them and after a moment of unbearable quiet, the creature stood. "So when does your plan take place?"

As if on cue there was the sound of an explosion followed by an alarm going off and Loki smirked. "Right about now if I had to guess."

**xxxxx**

Loki looked between all of the Avengers as they stood in front of him. Hawkeye had an arrow aimed right at his face and he knew he had lost. There was nothing he could do or say to turn these events around and deep down, he didn't really want to change the outcome of the battle.

"I think I'll have that drink now." Loki said. He was roughly jerked to his feet by Hawkeye, which wasn't unexpected. He had taken over the other's mind and he was sure the man wasn't happy about that.

Thor stepped up to Loki with an apologetic frown donning his features and Loki couldn't help but think that look didn't suit his bro—Thor. The muzzle was uncomfortable but he didn't complain. The cuffs were next but again, he gave no protest.

"Another cage?" the beast asked and Loki rolled his eyes. The group gave him a questioning look but said nothing. They all walked to the plane Fury had sent to pick them up. The ride back to headquarters was quiet. No one spoke or even looked at each other, except Thor who didn't take his eyes off Loki the entire flight. Loki refused to look at the blonde. He hated pity.

"So, what happens when the Chitauri find you?" the monster asked. Loki glared at him as he was unable to speak. The beast only laughed.

"I don't think they'll be very forgiving. They'll probably torture you before they kill you." The creature went on and Loki rolled his eyes.

"Perhaps to kill you they'll tear you limb from limb. Or maybe they'll tie you down and remove all of your organs. I think that one sounds fun." The monster pressed. When Loki didn't give him a response the beast scowled before a sudden thought struck him and he smirked at Loki. "Or perhaps they'll tempt Thor by dangling your unconscious body off a cliff or something just to smite you. They'll kill him and make you watch and it will be your entire fault."

Loki growled and lunged forward. Only he could threaten Thor, not anyone and definitely not this monster. He wouldn't allow the Chitauri or anyone else to touch Thor. Thor grabbed him and pulled him back down in the seat. When he was able to tear his gaze away from the blue beast he took note of Hawkeye's arrow and Black Widow's guns and he sighed.

"Are you all right brother?" Thor asked but Loki made no indication that he heard him. He only glared at the monster.

The creature grinned and leaned over to be eye level with Loki. "There's a monster in front of me, and he's all bound and gagged and defenseless. What should I do?" The mocking tone made his words acid and Loki wanted to wipe that smirk off his face.

_Just try to kill him._ Loki's glare seemed to scream and the monster only smirked as he stood and walked to the cockpit of the plane.

**xxxxxx**

Loki sat in his Asgardian cell staring at the wall. No one had visited him except for the guards and that was only to give him food. That had been three days at least. Thor had visited a few times but Loki didn't count him as a visitor. Odin hadn't stepped foot anywhere near his prison. He had heard that Frigga had wanted to visit but she couldn't bring herself to see him after all the wrongs he had done. All he had for company was the vile beast that had yet to leave him alone.

"You're hair has grown my little monster." The blue beast said as he walked around the cell. "And look, we're back in a glass prison."

As if to prove that point, he knocked on the glass. A dull thud sounded from the action and the creature chuckled faintly to himself. He turned his attention back to Loki who was glaring at him. He laughed loudly before walking over to Loki.

"You've lost."

Loki didn't answer or even acknowledge that the creature had spoken. Instead he looked at the wall to his left. The creature sat down in front of the other and smirked. Neither said a word to the other and after a moment Loki caved and turned his eyes to the beast.

"There's still a monster in front me." Loki said as he held the other's gaze.

"And you still just need to kill him." The monster replied.

Loki leaned back against the wall and broke the staring contest to look out the glass of his cage.

"I'm working on it."

**xxxxx**

Loki studied his image in the mirror as he smoothed his clothes. He was finally out of his prison and even if he wasn't a prince any longer he still refused to look like a slob. He had taken a long bath and scrubbed until his skin had turned red. He washed his hair and then cut it to a decent length. His outfits from before were still in his room but he had long since outgrown them from the last time he was in the palace. Without even having to ask Thor had been kind enough to bring him more clothes.

"Look at you. Getting all dolled up for nothing." The blue beast said and Loki sighed. "You know they won't accept you. Everyone in Asgard wishes to see you rotting in a cell once more."

"I don't much care for their opinions." Loki replied and went to the bed where his coat lay.

"They're going to spit at you in the streets." The creature went on as he stalked around the room. "I won't be surprised if they attack you where you stand."

"Be quiet." Loki said. "You're giving me a migraine."

The monster laughed and stepped beside Loki. He grabbed the other's shoulders and leaned close to his ear.

"You're still so weak."

Loki rolled his eyes and shrugged the other off. "Oh, shut up. I'm tired of listening to your voice."

"So pathetic. You never really outgrew that personality quirk."

"Cease your mindless babble."

"Just like when you were a little child. No wonder daddy didn't love you." The monster smirked when Loki flinched.

"Shut up!" Loki said louder with more vehemence in his voice.

"You were nothing like he wanted. You had no strength and you didn't even serve the purpose he had for you. You did nothing but ruin his plans for you." The beast went on.

"Will you just be quiet!" Loki screamed as he covered his ears in an attempt to block out the other's words.

"Why?" the beast asked and suddenly he was in front of Loki, their noses almost touching. "It's true. You failed to be of any use so Odin hates you. You shun the only person who has always loved you more than anything for the sake of keeping up a façade that you don't even wish to keep up any longer. You tried and failed to take over Midgard. You were beaten by mere mortals. And you have still failed to kill the monster who has been wide open in front of you your entire life!"

Loki growled and reached for one of his throwing knives that was on the dresser. He threw it at the monster and wasn't surprised when it missed. He shot a bolt of magic at the beast but the monster countered with one of his own. Loki grabbed another knife and ran at the creature. He slashed widely as the other countered his blows with a knife of his own. When Loki shot another blast of magic, the beast did the same.

Loki smirked as he saw an opening and he took it. He thrust the knife into the beast's abdomen and twisted, relishing in the sound of the monster's anguished moan. Loki pulled the knife out and stabbed again. The creature growled and shoved Loki back before sending a blast of magic at him. Loki managed to counter it with a blast of his own.

"You little freak." The monster sneered as he pushed himself up into a standing position.

"Who's the freak? You're the monster here." Loki snarled. "You're the one who's been haunting me since I was a child. You're the one who made me lose my way."

"I made you lose your way?" the beast growled. "_You've_ always been a monster. _You're_ family hated you. They still do. You've always been nothing and will always be nothing!"

Loki tackled the monster to the floor. They wrestled around, trying to gain the upper hand, and the blue beast ended up on top. Loki pushed against the creature's chest and shot him with his magic. The monster flew back across the room and Loki jumped to his feet. He attacked the monster again, straddling the other so he couldn't escape, and once more stabbed him. Everything left his mind as he jammed the blade into the other repeatedly. He didn't care where it landed as long as it cut through the being beneath him. The creature stopped moving and Loki dropped the blade.

"Looks like I finally killed him." He panted as he stood and frowned when he stumbled. Pain shot through his entire body and he clutched his stomach as the pain overtook him and he fell to his knees. He pulled his hand away, confusion spreading across his face. Why was there so much blood? When had he been hit?

Loki looked over to where he left the blue monster and gasped when he saw no one there. He shook his head. He had killed the beast, how did it get out? Perhaps he was wrong and the creature was still alive. Perhaps Thor or someone else saw him running through the halls. Without his energy he wouldn't have the strength to keep up an invisibility spell as he had been doing when others were around. Someone must have seen him.

"Th-thor…" Loki called but his voice was so weak. He tried to stand but only fell to the ground. He clutched his stomach and chest as pain raced through him. His vision started to blur and he began to panic.

He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to push himself up once more but slipped and fell back down. Opening his eyes his breath caught in his throat as he noticed just how much blood there was. He shook his head.

_"No!" _he thought. _"This isn't all mine, it can't be."_

He looked to the door when he heard laughing and footsteps. Thor was coming. Loki tried to push himself up once again but he couldn't even move his arms. The door opened and relief flooded him as Thor walked in.

"Brother! Are you…" Thor's eyes widened as he saw the state his brother was in. "Loki!"

Thor rushed over to his brother and kneeled beside him, carefully pulling him into a sitting position. He pulled open Loki's coat and top and frowned as he saw the damage. Burns and gashes were all over the other's chest and abdomen and he was losing so much blood.

"Loki, what happened? Who did this?" Thor asked and Loki could hear the barely contained rage in the blonde's voice.

Loki looked up at Thor with some difficulty and swallowed. "You must have seen him. He is weak now, there is no way you missed him."

Thor shook his head and searched his memory but he had not seen anyone on his way to Loki's room. "Who brother? One of the servants maybe?"

"A Jotun, you oaf!" Loki raised his voice but immediately started coughing.

Thor shook his head. "Loki, I passed no Frost Giant on my way here. If there was one, a guard would surely notice him and arrest him."

Loki was about to protest until he took a good look around his room. Nothing was out of place, except the mirrors. Nothing was broken except the mirrors. Only the mirrors were destroyed and when Loki turned his gaze to where he thought he had killed the monster he saw a mirror, on the floor, shattered, and covered in _his_ blood. He shook his head and looked up to Thor before raising his hands to see them. They had cuts, long and small, all over them.

_"From the glass."_ He thought. He let his hands drop back to the floor.

"Loki, what happened?" Thor asked desperately.

Loki looked up at Thor and smiled. At Thor's confused expression Loki laughed which only caused more pain to flood his body.

"Remember that monster I told you about when we were children? The one I said was in front of me?" Loki asked and Thor looked at a loss.

"Yes, brother, I remember but what—" Thor said in a rush before Loki cut him off.

"I think I've finally killed him."

* * *

Thank you all for reading! I hope everyone enjoyed the story. Please review! Criticism is an awesome thing too


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